Paris Hilton Needs a Hug

So the war is raging over here and there is bad news after bad news coming out of Baghdad. We are on target for another tough month here in Iraq. But THANK GOD WERE NOT PARIS HILTON!!!. I mean that poor girl...first the judge sends her to jail then the sheriff lets her out then that mean old judge sends her back to the pokey!! OH THE HUMANITY!!!!. So I am starting a FREE PARIS NOW! petition so that poor little rich girl doesnt have to spend an hour more in jail then she has too. NO JUSTICE...NO PEACE BITCHES!!! I mean, this story is big news. All the major news channels have been all Paris all the time. Even that RARELY FAIR AND NOT REALLY BALANCED news channel Fox has been spending big money talking shit about my girl. BACK OFF YOU JERKS! Paris needs a hug. And I for one want to say, as an American fighting man, fighting for all that is pure and just over here in the desert think that this oppression of Paris must stop. Just as as the American Army liberated Paris (the city in France) 62 years ago, I will lead a new band of brothers to liberate Paris (Hilton) this summer. Can you feel the OUTRAGE? Well my fellow Americans, D-Day approaches! ARE YOU WITH ME? LIBERATE PARIS....TODAY!


(THIS MESSAGE PAID FOR BY THE LIBERATE PARIS COMMITTEE AND CONCERNED CITIZENS LIKE YOU. DONATIONS WELCOME, BUT THEY ARE NOT TAX DEDUCTIBLE...THOSE BASTARDS)