Rest in Peace Friend Elvis Sebastian 2000-2012
Nearly ten years ago I lost my dog Honey who I had for 13 years. That was tough. I was in the room when the vet put her down and I cried uncontrollably for days. I had just moved into my present house and was suppose to have a birthday party/house warming party on the day before my actual birthday which fell on Sunday. But with Honey's death, I just was not in a party mood and decided to postpone it until a few weeks later. On Sunday, my actual birthday, I was feeling very down and sad. My good friend Jason called me up to wish me a happy birthday and asked me what I wanted to do. I told him I needed to get out of the house and we decided to go out to the Guilderland Animal Shelter. Here is how I told the story back in 2006:
I told Jason that he had to be the voice of reason....and not to let me adopt 3 dogs. So he agreed to go and we got to the shelter and went in. There were only of few dogs there...one of them was this big goofy yellow lab with an enormous head. He was barking and carrying on, so I just passed him by and saw this small female dog that I asked to see. Well myself and Jason and this dog went out to walk...but after a few minutes I realized that there was no love connection there. So one of the volunteers asked me if I wanted to walk the lab. I said hell no. "That dog is crazy and goofy and too big for me to take." She then said to me that I should just walk him because he needed a walk and there was noone else to do it. So I did. Well needless to say, I was suckered and I ended up leaving that shelter with a big goofy dog with an enormous head. Our first stop was at the Petco on the way home where I paid about $100 dollars for this state of the art doggie bed. So we got home and we played a little and I felt happy that I had a dog again even if he was a little goofy. Well that night we went to the bedroom and I laid out the doggie bed and then looked up and noticed that he was laying in my bed! Well I rationalized that I would let him sleep there that night because it was our first night and he was a little nervous and needed to be near me. He will sleep in his own bed the next night. YEAH. RIGHT. For almost 4 years that dog slept next to me every night. He never slept in that doggie bed. Not even once. We bonded from the very beginning. And it was so hard to say good bye when I dropped him off 2 weeks ago. Tonight the Tarantelli's (his adoptive family) sent me some pictures of him. I saw the pics and remembered how much I love him. How much I miss him. What hurts so much, is the feeling I have when I think about what is going through his mind. Does he think I abandoned him? That this guy he has lived with for almost four years just disappeared? I know it sounds stupid but I really feel sad about this right now. I wish he understood what I was doing and where I was. And that I would be back. But dogs...who knows what they know or understand. I just know that my best friend hasn't slept with me these past 2 weeks, hasn't been there when I wake up, and hasn't layed on my chest and fallen sleep like he use to. I love you buddy. I'll be back.
And I did come back. And I was priviledged to get nearly five more years with that big lug. He was my best friend but was loved by many. He had a little brother (Eddie) and a little sister (Willow) and lots of aunts and uncles. He really loved Eric and Wanda who use to give him full body massages. And he had another dad, who hated all the hair he shedded everyday but loved him as much as I did. Yesterday, Todd had to go through the same grief I went through when I took Honey to be put down. With help with his parents, he took him to vet and and was there when he breathed his last breath. I am sorry I was not there, but was glad he was there. Elvis deserved to see a loving face before he died.
Today I am heartbroken. But I have T and two healthy dogs and two sugar gliders at home. Elvis is not suffering anymore and somewhere, in doggie heaven, he is having a grand time chasing squirrels and humping legs. (ha ha). Thank you Elvis, my loyal companion. You were a good dog but a better friend. Rest in Peace.
I told Jason that he had to be the voice of reason....and not to let me adopt 3 dogs. So he agreed to go and we got to the shelter and went in. There were only of few dogs there...one of them was this big goofy yellow lab with an enormous head. He was barking and carrying on, so I just passed him by and saw this small female dog that I asked to see. Well myself and Jason and this dog went out to walk...but after a few minutes I realized that there was no love connection there. So one of the volunteers asked me if I wanted to walk the lab. I said hell no. "That dog is crazy and goofy and too big for me to take." She then said to me that I should just walk him because he needed a walk and there was noone else to do it. So I did. Well needless to say, I was suckered and I ended up leaving that shelter with a big goofy dog with an enormous head. Our first stop was at the Petco on the way home where I paid about $100 dollars for this state of the art doggie bed. So we got home and we played a little and I felt happy that I had a dog again even if he was a little goofy. Well that night we went to the bedroom and I laid out the doggie bed and then looked up and noticed that he was laying in my bed! Well I rationalized that I would let him sleep there that night because it was our first night and he was a little nervous and needed to be near me. He will sleep in his own bed the next night. YEAH. RIGHT. For almost 4 years that dog slept next to me every night. He never slept in that doggie bed. Not even once. We bonded from the very beginning. And it was so hard to say good bye when I dropped him off 2 weeks ago. Tonight the Tarantelli's (his adoptive family) sent me some pictures of him. I saw the pics and remembered how much I love him. How much I miss him. What hurts so much, is the feeling I have when I think about what is going through his mind. Does he think I abandoned him? That this guy he has lived with for almost four years just disappeared? I know it sounds stupid but I really feel sad about this right now. I wish he understood what I was doing and where I was. And that I would be back. But dogs...who knows what they know or understand. I just know that my best friend hasn't slept with me these past 2 weeks, hasn't been there when I wake up, and hasn't layed on my chest and fallen sleep like he use to. I love you buddy. I'll be back.
And I did come back. And I was priviledged to get nearly five more years with that big lug. He was my best friend but was loved by many. He had a little brother (Eddie) and a little sister (Willow) and lots of aunts and uncles. He really loved Eric and Wanda who use to give him full body massages. And he had another dad, who hated all the hair he shedded everyday but loved him as much as I did. Yesterday, Todd had to go through the same grief I went through when I took Honey to be put down. With help with his parents, he took him to vet and and was there when he breathed his last breath. I am sorry I was not there, but was glad he was there. Elvis deserved to see a loving face before he died.
posted by An Army of One at May 22, 2012
2 Comments:
It's the hardest thing I've had to do. I cried beyond the "ugly cry" as Big Yella took his last breath. I saw the life leave his body as we looked at each other. I closed his eyes and gave him a hug and a kiss. I feel so sad and guilty. He was a smart, loving dog, and I had to end his suffering.
Goodbye, my friend.
😢
And you did the right thing! You were the last person he saw before he passed. And as hard as it is to do what you did, you did it out of love. I understand you feeling sad, but there is no need for you to feel guilty.
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