Missing My Best Friend

When I agreed to volunteer for this deployment I knew it would be difficult to leave my friends for over a year. But somehow I knew that that would be easier then leaving behind my dog Elvis. There is something about the relationship between people and their dogs that is unexplainable to people who have never owned one. Back in 2002, my dog Honey, who was 13, had to be put down because she broke her hip and the doctor said she would not have survived surgery. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. After I buried Honey, I felt a deep depression for several days. On my birthday, I was feeling really bad and I called my buddy Jason to see if he would go to the Guilderland Shelter with me to see about adopting another dog. I told Jason that he had to be the voice of reason....and not to let me adopt 3 dogs. So he agreed to go and we got to the shelter and went in. There were only of few dogs there...one of them was this big goofy yellow lab with an enormous head. He was barking and carrying on, so I just passed him by and saw this small female dog that I asked to see. Well myself and Jason and this dog went out to walk...but after a few minutes I realized that there was no love connection there. So one of the volunteers asked me if I wanted to walk the lab. I said hell no. "That dog is crazy and goofy and too big for me to take." She then said to me that I should just walk him because he needed a walk and there was noone else to do it. So I did. Well needless to say, I was suckered and I ended up leaving that shelter with a big goofy dog with an enormous head. Our first stop was at the Petco on the way home where I paid about $100 dollars for this state of the art doggie bed. So we got home and we played a little and I felt happy that I had a dog again even if he was a little goofy. Well that night we went to the bedroom and I laid out the doggie bed and then looked up and noticed that he was laying in my bed! Well I rationalized that I would let him sleep there that night because it was our first night and he was a little nervous and needed to be near me. He will sleep in his own bed the next night. YEAH. RIGHT. For almost 4 years that dog slept next to me every night. He never slept in that doggie bed. Not even once. We bonded from the very beginning. And it was so hard to say good bye when I dropped him off 2 weeks ago. Tonight the Tarantelli's (his adoptive family) sent me some pictures of him. I saw the pics and remembered how much I love him. How much I miss him. What hurts so much, is the feeling I have when I think about what is going through his mind. Does he think I abandoned him? That this guy he has lived with for almost four years just disappeared? I know it sounds stupid but I really feel sad about this right now. I wish he understood what I was doing and where I was. And that I would be back. But dogs...who knows what they know or understand. I just know that my best friend hasn't slept with me these past 2 weeks, hasn't been there when I wake up, and hasn't layed on my chest and fallen sleep like he use to. I love you buddy. I'll be back.