As I see it

In 2003, I was very vocal about my opposition to the Iraq invasion. I knew several things to be true:

1) That the Army would win the "war" and that Saddam would be pushed from power.
2) That there would be no weapons of mass destruction found.
3) That winning the peace would be much more elusive.
4) And, that the President would continue to modify our reasons for going to war.
5) And that some Democrats would decide that they made a mistake by voting in favor of the war.

Most of my friends can verify that I did claim these things. I had a few heated conversations with Eric about this. In fact, we had a bet involving the WMD question, where I said that none would ever be found. We put a one year timetable on that issue, and It was one of the few bets I ever won against Eric. But I digress. Fast forward to 2006. It seems that all of my expectations of what would happen have come true. I was not the only person who predicted this, but I am surprised that my predictions seemed more accurate then then George "Mission Accomplished" Bush, Dick "we will be greeted as liberators" Cheney, and Donald "Who cares what my generals tell me" Rumsfeld. Damn am I smart.

But really now, where does that leave us and how have my own opinions been changed? I never seemed impressed with people who join the public opinion bandwagon, mainly because I know how fickle the "American people" are. I was out of step with public opinion in 2003 and now that the tide has turned (more people oppose the war/occupation the support it) I feel that I am out of step again. You see, I opposed the war for lots of reasons but now I have come to embrace the occupation. We need to stay there to stabilize the country. As General Powell said, "If we break it, we own it" And we broke it big time. No doubt. I support the occupation on purely humanitarian grounds...To protect the people of that country we invaded from being slaughtered in a civil war. And to protect the people who voted in good faith in the recent elections who actually believed some of our bullshit about "exporting Democracy" to that part of the world. You see, call me naive, but I want to believe their bullshit and want to do my part to make it happen.

I am angry with the people who chose to take us to war the way they did. They should be held accountable. That being said, premature withdrawal from Iraq would be disastrous. We owe our men and woman who are there continued support and we need to make sure that the promissory note we issued to the Iraqi people is worth the paper it written on. It's easy to be against the war now. Much harder to support a mission you didn't originally support. But we have no alternative. To my Liberal friends: Don't let your hatred of GWB blind you from supporting a moral and compassionate approach to the occupation. To my conservative friends: Admit you were mislead into supporting this war and that those who forced us into it showed us how wrong and incompetent our leaders can be if they go unchecked.

A few more days in Albany

Well I thought that I would be in Texas by now, but alas, I did not get my orders. I have been told that orders were on the way and that I was to be mobilized this Thursday (the 30th) with a report date of April 2nd (Sunday). So some of my friends know I am still here and some don't. Oh well, what can I do. In the meantime I am still hanging out each day trying to keep my mind occupied. It was nice to see Christa, Celso, and G-man on Friday. We were celebrating Celso's new contract as a doctor. He will be moving to Chicago. Yesterday I hung out with Eric and Warren. We had brunch at Justin's and then went to the mall to see a movie. At first we said "The Hills have Eyes"..which is the most disturbing freaky s...t I have ever seen. It was awful. We walked out of the movie and went to see "V for Vendetta" instead. Much better movie. Tonight I will be seeing another friend before I head out of town. (thats if I am heading out of town)

No really...I mean it...I am leaving....Blah Blah Blah

Ok..well I am leaving, but not tommorow. It seems the Army has pushed back my departure date a few days (about 10) so I am still in Albany. Thats the Army for you. (See Previous post..."Hurry up and Wait".) So today I need to begin calling my friends (including some who are expecting to get my car, drive me to the airport, and take my dog tommorow) to let them know that I am still here. The Colonel I talked to yesterday told me I was "good to go", so its just the Green Monster thats holding things up. (Green Monster being the Army Bureaucracy, not the wall at Fenway) So anyway, here I sit, doing my time in purgatory waiting for my number to be called. I just need to take a deep breath and relax and enjoy some more time with my buds. Thats if they still love me.....

My Friends

How do you say goodbye to people you love and respect as much as I do my friends? Well last night I tried to do that at my going-away party. I had a room full of the people who have become my "family". We looked at pictures and had a few drinks and ate a little. I got a lot of lucky "charms" from my friends. My friend Warren gave me a Budda, which I will have in my pocket where ever I go. I also got a St. Christopher medal from my friends Barb and Vin. My best girl Christa loaned me her favorite photos to take to the desert with me (put in a zip lock bag to keep the sand out!!). My theater mom Ginger gave me another saint charm to keep me safe too. Chaz, one of my theater buddies read a proclamation regarding all my theater work over the years. It was a nice evening. My buddy G was a little sedate. He is such a great guy but he is having a hard time with me leaving. I am loaning him my truck when I am go away. Last night was bittersweet to say the least. But its nice to know I got my family to come back to.

Another Day Waiting

Well its 0852 on Monday and at this moment I still don't have my orders. It is a little frustrating but I am still plugging along. Tonight is my going away party. I have the feeling that there will be alot of people there I have not seen in awhile. Over the weekend I saw my last show and we had our cast party. I got lots of nice things from the cast of Auntie Mame and will miss theater alot when I am gone. I have found a nice place for Elvis. One of the my cast member's (Steve - who played the young Patrick in the play) family have agreed to take him. They are great people and are excited to have a dog. He will get lots of love from them and I thank them so much for doing this. This weekend I said good bye to my friend Onassis. He came and visited me this weekend and we saw a movie and he went to the play. He lives in NY and is a good kid. I will miss him. I have been a little sick the last few days. Last night I had a high fever and a bad cough. I feel better today. I am looking forward and dreading tonight.

Awaiting Orders

Nothing in the military is suppose to happen without military orders. These are the pieces of paper that the Army issues to soldiers whenever anything happens. Which is almost all the time. So you get orders for getting promoted, for travel, for getting awards and medals, for changing jobs, for being reassigned to other units.......and the list goes on. So right now I am on orders....for special active duty work. Those orders will end when I get my mobilization orders, which then will activate the orders releasing from my Unit, which then will trigger orders to allow me to get travel orders to go to my mobilization site and then I will get orders to be assigned to my unit in Texas and then eventually we will all get deployment orders to go to Iraq. Now to be truthful, I don't know if I got all that right, but who the f*** could follow all this anyway. All I know is that I was told by someone in the State Mob officer that I was being mobilized on the 20th and reporting to my unit in Texas on the 23rd. However its all unofficial until you get "your orders". In the meanwhile, all my friends are planning a going away party for Monday. If I dont get my orders, I aint going away. Damn. I might have to go on vacation after the party just to justify why they had the going away party in the first place. I just hope they won't make me give back the gifts or pay for my own dinner.

Goodbyes and Goodlucks

The last few days have flown by for me. I have begun the process of saying goodbye. Its difficult to say the least. My friends are having a party for me on Monday night. I am dreading it because I know it will be very emotional. Over the weekend, I had a tough day on Sunday saying goodbye to my best friend Eric and his girlfriend Wanda. I have been friends with Eric since 2001 and he lived with me for several years (up to last September). He is one of the smartest guys I know. He is also one of the most loyal and committed guys I know. If there was one person in the world that I could have in the foxhole with me, it would be him without a doubt. Over the years we have had quite a few verbal battles, and at he knew just what to do to piss me off and get me going. We would have these stupid bets all the time about crazy shit. And almost everytime he would win. One time I lost a bet with him which required me to go to brunch wearing these enormous green Hulk Hands and talking like the hulk to the waitress. Damn that sucked. Most of the times he won and I had to buy dinners. Well I know I owe him a few still. (If you asked him how many, he would know, and could tell you what the original bet was...haha) About two years ago, he met Wanda. She is so beautiful and sweet. I know they love each other very much and I am blessed to have them both in my life. So Sunday was hard. The other day I got a email about my friend Karin's blog. I read her latest entry and it was about me. She is having a hard time with this, but I hope she knows how much I care about her and am grateful that we have been friends for as long as we have been. Alot of people have been saying goodbye to me and wishing me good luck. Good luck and be careful they say. I guess its hard to know just what to say in a situation like this. So the beginning of a long week of goodbyes and goodlucks have begun. I wish I could fast forward through this part.

Be Careful What You Volunteer For

I remember when I first joined the Army back in the early 80's I was anxious to make an impression by volunteering for extra duty when ever I thought it might make me look good in front of the Drill Sergeants. Basically, I was being a kiss ass. LOL. Well when I first went to basic training, there was a drill sergeant who asked for volunteers one time and I made the mistake of putting my hand up the highest. So they picked me for this important job and I was told to report the next day for duty.....at 03:30 (thats 3:30 am for all you civvies out there). So what was this important duty? KP...Kitchen Patrol. God that was awful. Back then, you really did peel potatoes and crack eggs, and all that crap. They busted my ass for 14 hours. I was so busy and so tired by the end of the day I wanted to DIE. I was so good at it though, they asked my Drill Sergeant to let me do it again the next day. I remember him say..."Hey Read...you dont mind do you?" There was no answer for that other then "No Sergeant!" Needless to say, I didn't volunteer anymore while I was at Basic. So 23 years later, I guess I should have learned my lesson. Back in February I went on the Guard Knowledge Online sight and saw that they were taking volunteers to support OIF/OEF and other current missions. I plugged in my information and noticed that they were looking to fill jobs (in my MOS) in units that would be deploying to Iraq shortly. Well a few weeks later I got a certified letter from the State Division of Military Affairs informing me that if I really wanted to volunteer there were openings and that I needed to contact them right away. I called back and told them I was interested. I did a little paperwork and signed a waiver stating that I was willing to waive my rights to a 30 day mobilization notice. Well yesterday, I was told that my application was accepted and that I was expected to get orders very soon. The dates are not set in stone yet, but I was told the target date for my mobilization was March 20, with a reporting date in Ft. Hood Texas at or around the 23rd. WOW! Thats 12 days away and I have alot to do. Finding a place for Elvis is number one. Everything else will work itself out. I can't believe that in 2 weeks, I will be in Texas. In a few weeks or months....Iraq. WTF?....LOL. I am really excited.

Active Duty

Well for the first time in a long time, I am on active duty. I think. LOL. What I mean is today is when I am officially on orders. I dont actually know if the orders have been cut, but I was told today was the day. I am suppose to report at 0730 for PT and then begin my first day as a full time soldier after that. I slept pretty good last night, but it will take me a few days to adjust to this "0730" thing. Not much of a morning person, but it just means that I will need to adjust my schedule and get in bed a little earlier. Yesterday I went to meet with the CSM (Command Sergeant Major) and he told me what he needed. Retention and Recruitment is a top priority for the Army right now, and the 42nd Infantry (which just got back from Iraq) is going through a transformation. I will be assisting this transition by serving as a career counselor/reenlistment NCO for soldiers within the Division. Keeping good soldiers in the Division and matching them up with jobs that fit their career goals/aspirations is the number one goal the Commander has. I will be going to school in Syracuse in a few weeks to learn about my new job. I am excited. Well its 06:53. I need to head to work.

Drill Weekend & Theater

This past weekend was very busy. Friday was our opening night for Auntie Mame. It was a tough show to produce and to direct, but we had decent crowds and the actors did well. I am very proud of what they accomplished. On Saturday, I had my 2nd weekend drill. At the first formation, the First Sergeant mentioned that they were looking to fill an ADSW position (active duty special work) involving career counseling and reenlistment. My last job in the Reserves before my break in service was a 79D, which is a reenlistment/career counseling. I really enjoyed that work and was hoping to get back in to that field. I approached him and told him about my experience and that I was MOS qualified. At this point, I still did not have any uniforms so he wasnt sure what to think. Later that day, he told me that he thought this might work out, so he asked me to come to the Armory this week to do some paperwork and to meet with the Division CSM. (thats the top nco in the division). On Monday, I drove to Fort Drum to buy new uniforms. Cost me almost $300 dollars and it was a 6-hour round trip, but at least I will look like a soldier when I meet the Sergeant Major. Yesterday I got some bad news from the actress who is playing Mame. She was in an car accident and has broken her arm in 3 places. We are working with an understudy now because our Mame is having surgery later this week and wont be available for the weekend. So what was suppose to be an easy week has turned into a nightmare as we struggle to bring the understudy up to speed by Friday. Bummer, but hey, could be worse.

Busy Weekend Ahead

This should be an interesting weekend for me. My theater life meets my Army Life. Tonight is opening night for the latest show I am directing (Auntie Mame). This is an epic show. Its a long show with tons of props and scene changes and speaking roles. But I have the best production staff. They are all working their butts off and its going to be a great show and fun to watch. I am excited but a little sad because it might be my last show before I go away. Tommorow is my second drill for the Guard. I am assigned to the 42nd Infantry Division. I had a chance to meet some of the guys that just got back from Iraq and was asking them questions about their experiences. The bond that these guys developed over there was very strong. I could tell because of how they were greeting each other. I felt a little envious actually. I felt I was on the outside looking in. On top of the fact that I dont have any uniforms yet. So there I was in civies and they dont know what to call me...Mr. Read?...Sir?...Private?...ahhhh...he's old must be at least a Specialist. Damn I was glad to be there but felt out of place with all these war vets and their combat patches. I wonder if Audie Murphy ever felt this way?...LOL

Change

You know I really have been adverse to change my whole life. I don't know why this is the case but it seems like I have always dreaded it. Whether its changing jobs, moving, staying in relationships, or keeping the same clothes, I have never liked the thought of what these changes might mean to me. In many cases, I have missed making the "right changes". But in the last several months I have been going through lots of "changes." Since 1999, I have been the Director of the Damien Center of Troy, a community center for people living with HIV/AIDS. Until December of last year, I was also the Director of the Schenectady Damien Center. The Damien Centers provide social and recreational activities, peer support, hot meals, and referral services to people living with the disease and to their families and significant others. I can't tell you how much this work has meant to me. Being able to provide a level of comfort to those dealing with many issues (besides AIDS) has helped me become a better person. More compassionate, more understanding, and less judgmental. I have met people from all over the country and the world who struggle with this on a daily basis. They have become my friends. I have laughed often and cried as well. The numbers of people who have come into my life and who I have been blessed to know have been many. But the most fearful change of all is death. And in 7 years, I have lost too many of my friends. But I have been inspired by each of those who have passed. I can honestly say, I do fear sickness and pain. I have seen what my friends have endured and it scares me. But the strength and courage they showed in the worst of times has given me the strength to not fear death anymore. I have an evolving faith and its that faith that will help me with the changes in my life. So I am still adverse to change....but....I will embrace it for no other reason then because it is necessary.