Drink a Cup of Kindness Yet

Well this is it for 2006. My final post. This has been an interesting year. So many changes. Lots of new things. Many challenges. But I am real happy right now. One year ago...I was a civilian. Now I am a combat veteran. (ha-ha...well at least a combat "zone" veteran.) December 31st, 2005 I went to G-man's Apartment for a party that was wild and crazy and I can't tell you how much fun. One of the things that we all did was wrote out a "New Year's Wish" that we tied to helium-filled balloons. Right at midnight...we released them all at once and they floated out to space. I watched my balloon...with my wish as it disappeared in to the blackness of the darkened night. My wish? Well my wish was that I would once again have a career in the military. For the previous several weeks I had starved myself in order to lose the weight that I needed to in order to qualify for the military. From mid-November until mid-January I lost 33 pounds. It was the worst time to lose weight with the holidays and the parties and such...by I managed to do it. I remember thinking about volunteering to do something bold...like volunteering to go to Iraq. It was a far-fetched idea...but I knew that if I got a chance to do it I would. And here I am. In Iraq...a day after Saddam was hung for his crimes. Wow. Sometimes you get your wish. I don't know where everyone is spending their New Year...but I hope you all have a wonderful time. Dont drink and drive kids. Baby...I will be kissing you in spirit at mid-night...you do the same. I promise to do my best to spend New Years with you next year. To all my friends back home....my Albany family...thank you for supporting me in this mission I am on. Your unconditional support for me makes me so happy and proud to have you in my life. I don't know what I would do without you all. To my family down in Kentucky and Tennessee....I truly love you all. I miss each and everyone of you. Thank you for loving me as I am. That means everything to me. My wish for 2007? World Peace. Of course. Ha-ha. HAPPY NEW YEAR! See you all next year.

Hell...Table for One

I wonder what Saddam is doing right now in the hereafter? You think he got his 87 virgins? I doubt it. Maybe he has reunited with his sons. I think they all ended up in the same place. He was hung today by his neck until he was dead. Most likely his death was less painful then most of the people who died under his orders. By all accounts...he was a very bad man. The worse ever? Naaaa...but still pretty freakin bad. Now I believe that until the very last moment...he could have reconciled with his "god"...but more then likely he died like he lived....still in denial...still thinking he was President of Iraq. I truly believe we all get what's coming to us...that karma is a bitch....and I believe that this despicable man is now paying the price for his life. Is it right to say God save his soul? I am not sure. But whatever. I will not judge someone who will be judged (if it has not already happened) by someone mightier then I will ever be. The next few days will be a struggle for us. We are expecting bad shit. We are bracing for more violence. More Sunni reprisals against the Shia's and vice versa. And us caught in between. It is cold over here now and we are stressed beyond belief. We hope and pray that the new year will mean real changes and offer some hope. But this is something we don't control. It is not in our hands. Only thing we can do is take cover for a few weeks and hope everything works out.

It was the Day before the Day Before Christmas and all through the Combat Zone

Well there is only two shopping left until Christmas and I know that everyone at home is stressed out about all the shopping they have to do and blah blah blah. But try to relax. It will all be over soon. Over here...Christmas is in the air and we have been getting packages from our family and donations from organizations that are dedicated to supporting the troops (even if they don't support the war.) We have so much stuff right now that we are running out of space. But the excess stuff will not be wasted. We are packing it up and bringing it around to the civilian workers who are here from countries such as India, Guyana, and the Philippines. I met one of these workers from the Philippines at the PX the other day and we met for coffee one evening and talked about his situation. He is about 27 and has a wife and 3 children at home. He has been away from his family for over a year and is not likely to see them for at least another year. He told me that he works for a sub-contractor that provides workers to AAFES (that's the organization that runs the px). According to him, the contractor gets about $3000 per month for each worker it provides AAFES. Out of that $3000...the average worker is given a measly $600 per month! With no benefits. They live in large open-bay tents with heaters and air conditioners that work only half the time. To add insult to this, the workers have to pay the placement agency thousands of dollars just for the privilege of working. The average worker has to pay $500 dollars a month for the first 6 months. Which means he or she is working for about $100 monthly until they are able to pay off what they owe the agent. Pretty outrageous huh? It disturbs me that there is so much disparity between what government pays the contractors and what is actually passed on to the workers. I think that this type of exploitation is horrible and is one of the most offensive things I have seen since I have been here. Don't ask me why I am so offended by this but I guess it's just the bleeding heart liberal in me. Before I go...I am going to do something about this. Mark my words. Some of my fellow soldiers and I are going to visit some of these contractor villages on Christmas to make sure they know that we appreciate what they are doing for us. If I can give them a little cheer...well then it will be a very happy and meaningful Christmas. I hope Christmas is as meaningful for all of you. Merry Christmas!

The Game of Lowered Expectations

A few days back there was a headline in the Stars and Stripes Magazine that said this:

"GENERAL: IRAQ VICTORY NOT IN TROOPS' HANDS"

I posed with my buddy Blucher with the newspaper and didn't realize the irony in this until later. It did not take the comments of a General to remind all of us here in Iraq that "victory was not in our hands." It never has been in our hands. This war was created out of thin air. It was built on a foundation of lies. Iraq had nothing to do with 9-11. There were no weapons of mass destruction. We certainly were not greeted as liberators. Yet the administration until the last few days continued to insist that its civilian and military leaders in the pentagon drink the cool-aide and try to bullshit us all into believing that we could win this thing from a military vantage. We never did get that whole "winning the hearts and minds" thing down. But I guess now even the most optimistic "cool-aide" drinkers are seeing the writing on the wall. We have lost this war. There is, in my humble opinion, no hope for victory in Iraq. So what do we do? The choices are limited...escalate the war...immediate withdrawal...gradual withdrawal. Over the next several weeks we will hear about these choices and the advantages and disadvantages of each of these. I speak for myself...but I know I and alot of my fellow soldiers are prepared to do whatever is necessary to help end this nightmare with a level of honor and dignaty. But rest assured...we are not drinking the "cool-aide". We know we are fighting impossible odds and a losing battle. But we will soldier on. We just have to move the guide post a bit...lower expectations...and salvage what is left of hope. That is all we soldiers can do. Victory is not in our hands...but neither is the loss. We didnt lose Iraq. Bush lost Iraq. In the end...history will not be kind to those who got us here. But I know this....we still love our country...and we have done our best. We will do our duty until the end...whatever that end is. God help us.

Call National Grid - My Power is Out

Actually, almost all the electric on Camp Anaconda has been out for about 24 hours. We have electric in two places-- at the office and at the Gym. We do not have power in our "hooches" though. Even the pumps that control the showers are down, so we all smell a bit. Last night it was about 38 degrees so we all froze. 38 Degrees is a far cry from that 133 degree day in Kuwait let me tell you. They tell us to expect the power on by early tommorow morning. Ah well. It could be worse. Every now and then we do go through these outtages and this is just one of those times. If it happens in the summer heat...well that would be alot worse. I have a bit of a cold. Seems like everyone around me is sick. Its never nice to be sick, but its worse when you are already working 14 hours a day and have the day to day stress we are going through. And of course it is compounded by the additional stress we feel by being away from our families and friends during the holidays. Even over here...we worry about our shopping lists. The attacks continue and recently there were a few casualties. No one I know. Thank God. The days are counting down for us all. I have 65 days and a wake up until I come home on leave. That will be around February 14th. With any luck....I will share a romantic dinner with my S.O. Well, at any rate, I hope the power comes on soon. It is suppose to be even colder tonight and I am smelling like a fat man who spent a week in a sauna. Take care my peeps.

Me and more Me

Here are some recent pics of me. Hope you all enjoy! The pic on the top is a pic of me in the guard tower protecting you all from god knows what. Ha-ha. Second is me posing with the Christmas tree Karin and Warren sent me. Third is me and Mike (one of my soldiers) and bottom is me standing outside Al Faw Palace in Baghdad.

100 days in the "Combat Zone"

Well, its Saturday afternoon and we had kind of a easy day so far. We spent most of the day decorating for the Holidays. I put up my little tree sent to me by Warren and Karin. I got a really neat package from them that had all kinds of goodies including snacks and holiday decorations and a very nice card. Thanks guys! I really appreciate them (including the pictures of me with the boys and Elvis.) Getting emails and packages are the highlight of my days over here. Time is slowly but steadily going buy. Today is the 101st day that I have spent in the combat zone of Kuwait and Iraq. It is hard to believe but I am almost a third of the way through. I also have been counting down the days until I come home for R and R leave. As of today....74 days. We are trying to hard to get into the Christmas spirit over here...but it is very hard. This will be one of the toughest holidays for most of us because of being so far from home and away from those we love. But we do have each other...and thats a comfort. On Tuesday I flew to Baghdad again and spent the day. That was a fun trip. I took my Major and my right-hand man, Blucher. It was their first time down there so I was kind of the tour guide. We flew out very early and were picked up at the Heliport by our counter-parts at MNC-I. (Multinational Corp - Iraq). Thats our higher headquarters. We had breakfast then went to some meetings for a few hours and then walked around Camp Victory for awhile. Why they call this Camp Victory I don't know. Hmmmm...I thought the war was still un-decided at this time. Maybe they ought to call it Camp Stalemate. Anyway, we got a chance to meet some other paralegals and see soldiers from all over the world while we were there. After a long day, we took our return flight back to Anaconda and landed about 945 pm. It was nice to get away from the office for a day. Nice mental break. The rest of the week I have spent doing basic legal work including preparing for a few court martials. Tommorow, Sunday, I am taking the day off. We don't get many of these so I am looking forward to it. The last 100 days have been very interesting. I don't believe I have ever packed so much into such a short time. The time is going pretty fast. I am glad for that. Here is hoping the next hundred days goes as quickly!

They Serve Too

A lot of people think that war is all about the soldiers. Those men and women in uniform who make up our military. That's what the media shows...the uniform. But in reality, we are just a one part of what makes up the group of people currently working with the coalition to rebuild Iraq. Here at Camp Anaconda we have thousands of civilians who work for the Department of Defense and other federal agencies. Like us, they too experience the same kinds of struggles and difficulties we go through. They miss their families, live in some what primitive conditions, and work long hours with little time off. Then there are the contractors. Although some contractors do really well (some making in excess of $100,000 per year) most are from places like the Philippines, India, Ghana, or one of dozens of other countries. KBR, which is a subsidiary of Halliburton has the big contracts for things like billeting, dining facility, transportation, and the recreation centers. As a rule, KBR employees are paid pretty well, but KBR also sub-contracts to smaller companies that do things like cleaning the latrines, food service, or some other "low" skill job. I am not sure how much money they make but I hear that some of these people live in tents or rooms with 15 to 20 other people and work everyday for very low pay. Mind you, when you talk to them they are grateful that they have any kind of job. They tell you they left their own country to come here in order to save enough money to help their family. I can't imagine what their families must be going through. We are fortunate because we get tons of stuff from home. Lots of things from people we don't even know. We get tons of food...whatever we want from dining facility. We get paid well. We are truly fortunate. But for that Indian, or Iraqi or Filipino what do they have besides the job? Not much. Not by our standards anyway. They work and work and work. They deal with soldiers (who can be pretty rude sometimes) and with some Americans who look at them as if they didn't exist. I myself believe that we have more in common with these folks then we care to admit. Many of us are here not by choice but because we were compelled to come. Most of our soldiers want to make better lives for themselves and their families just like that foreign national. We all feel the pain of distance from those we love. But we got it pretty good...truth be told. We know what is waiting for us at home. We are told that the nation "supports the troops". We will go home to our families and friends and our way of life. This is certain for most of us. But for those who toil at jobs that most Americans would find demeaning, there is less certainty about what their future holds. Today someone told me about a person from the Philippines who was in the 9th year of a 10 year commitment with a contractor. He has been away from his family for TEN YEARS. Damn. But he is happy because he has saved enough to build a life for his family back home. I hope that he gets the chance to make that dream a reality. But who knows? I guess we can just hope. So in addition to those who wear our uniform, lets not forget those who serve to make our lives more livable while we are deployed. To those who serve our food, clean our toilets, wash our laundry and put up with our bullshit...this Non-alcoholic Bud is for you! Thanks for doing your part.

Thanksgiving and My Soldiers

In two days, most of you will be gathering with friends and loved ones and enjoying some good food...some good wine...and football. You will sit at your tables and toast your thanks. Then you will nap and start planning for Christmas. In two days....me and my soldiers will get up as we have everyday for the last several weeks and go to work or to guard duty or to some "yet to be determined" detail that may include filling sandbags or something worse. But for the most part...we are ok with that. You see...we want to be there with you. We just can't right now. But we want you to do the things you would do if we were all home. We want you to be happy...and to enjoy the time you can share with the people you care about. For me...I am thankful for many things...I won't go into them all but I am so happy to have a loving family, great friends, and my loves...Elvis and T. Those alone make me richer then most men. But this thanksgiving, I am giving thanks for the soldiers who have become my responsibility. My new friends and family include:

Specialist Michael B.....a great guy from Austin Texas who is smart, funny, and incredibly loyal. I count on him so much. He is my right hand soldier. Mike and I share many similier views on this war and in politics in general. He lives in a tiny blue dot (austin) in a very red state. He is 31 and has a wife and two dogs.

Specialist Scott M....another young soldier from Texas who I like so much. He is about 24 but looks about 16. Haha. He always tries hard and makes me laugh. He has grown so much since I first met him. He has a young son who was born back in the spring. His son is everything to him and I know that he is and will be a great dad. He hopes to make it back for his son's first birthday in March.

Specialist Jaime M...she is about 24 and a Texas girl with a husband and a 2 year old boy who she misses terribly. Jaime has become my "girl". I love her to death. We are always bantering back and forth and she has a great attitude and sense of humor. She reminds me of some of the gals I hung with back in Albany.

Specialist Arthur E....Arthur is also know as "smooth" because he is a big ladies man. Smooth is about 21. He is also very quiet and very intelligent. "Smooth" is from Alabama and is half African-American and half Korean. He does a great job at all his work. I am proud of the way he has grown into this job and am looking forward to seeing him continue to excel.

Specialist Licia S....Licia is our baby...barely 19. She is spunky and most of the guys call her "our princess". Deep down we really adore her but I think sometimes that she thinks I am really "old". Haha. But I admire her because she works hard and wants to make a good impression. She also did not get alot of support from her family and had to grow up very quickly. She is from Colorado.

SGT Sandra C is a hoot. She is a very sweet lady from Texas. Sandra is the mom of the group. I wont tell you how old she really is, but she has a very youthful spirit. She has a husband and a son at home and is our social director here. She knows everyone in the Brigade and sets up all of our dances and parties. She keeps us all laughing and loose. I am glad she is with us.

SGT Kendrick H is from Kansas. He is like 7 feet tall..He has been in the Navy where he was a paralegal as well. He recently joined the Army and has made a good transition. He is very smart and he and I always bust on each other. He just got promoted to SGT and I am sure he will be a fine NCO. He is about 23.

PFC Shenieka F. is from Texas. She a very quiet but very strong paralegal and is about 24. I am very proud of her work and Shenieka is always willing to do whatever work needs to be done. I enjoy working with her. She is not very tall soldier but she has a very big attitude and looks funny driving the big truck her unit assigned to her. Haha.

This deployment has been hard on all of these soldiers. But now we have become a family over here. We know that in the end...if we had nothing else...we still have each other. The other night, all of us gathered together for a early thanksgiving dinner. We were having a ball. We ate and drank near beer, smoked cigars and danced like fools. Everyday we laugh and laugh at each other's antics and we have become really close. I miss all my peeps at home...you have not been forgotten. But now, I have a little family I am taking care of here in Iraq. It is this family...of remarkable young men and woman...that I am truly thankful for this thanksgiving. Hey, this Thursday...set a place for me...and my soldiers. We promise not to eat too much...haha. HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL!!

Winning the Hearts and Minds - 50 Cents at a Time

I had guard duty yesterday. It was a quiet day. Not much action. Recently its been kinda hot out there. By hot I mean lots of action. Last night it was not "hot" at all though. In fact it was cold as hell. Last night the temperture dropped down into the 50s. There was a strong wind blowing through our tower so it felt even colder. It seems along way from those 120 degree days in Kuwait. But anyway, yesterday we watched alot of Iraqi farmers doing their work and we exchanged waves with most of them. They have become accustomed to watching us in the towers as they do their work. As they watch us doing our job watching them do their job, I wonder what in the hell they must be thinking. Do they hate us? Do they fear us? Do they wish they were in that tower aiming their weapons at us instead? I don't have a good answer for these questions but they are very intriguing nonetheless. On my first day on guard duty, I interacted with an Iraqi girl. She was there today as well. Still as spirited as ever. She yelled something to us in the tower, but I could not make anything out. I watched them for hours just doing them work...watched as they took breaks and talked to one another. Watched them have lunch. Then as they were beginning to load up the truck to head out of the field, a little boy about 8 years old came running up to our tower and yelled for us to look down. He was yelling for us to throw him down something. I looked at my tower guard buddy and he told me that we were not suppose to give anything to Iraqis from the tower. But I knew that lots of the guys often throw candy and water and other stuff down to them when they asked. Especially if they were kids. They were hard to turn down. So I looked down at the kid and I yelled that I didn't have any candy. He then said "dollar!" I laughed and yelled back down that I didnt have a dollar but I did have two quarters in my pocket. I pulled them out and I threw the first one down and the boy found it in the grass. He seemed excited about it. He then yelled at me to throw the other one down. Which I did. He grabbed it and waved back up at me and took off to join his family in the truck. Now I know that what I did was not by the "book", but then again, I don't like alot of things about the "book". You see, I came here to meet and to interact with Iraqis. Even if there is wire strung up between us...I still want to reach out and get to know these people. Many of my fellow soldiers don't view things this way. They see every Iraqi as an enemy or someone that must be feared. Call me naive, but I don't see it that way. I want to do my part in winning "hearts and minds" of the Iraqis. I don't want them to view me as a threat. I want them to know that I respect them, their country, and Islam. That I care about their future. That I want for them...what I have. A good life with lots of friends and a roof over my head and food on the table. Today...I tossed two quarters to an 8 year old Iraqi boy. What do you think he thinks now? A small gesture yes. But its possible it could make a difference on how he view soldiers and Americans in the future. Hard to measure but you never know. So yesterday, I made a down-payment on the "hearts and minds" thing and I will do it the next time too. Army procedures be damned. I am an Army of One and I am sticking to it.

Give Change a Chance

I am happier today then I was the other day. The "people" have spoken. The polls were accurate as it turns out and now the Democrats will control both house of congress for the first time since 1995. I kinda feel alot like the Red Sox fans after they won their first world series in 90 years. Dazed...happy...and not sure how to respond to the being a "winner". Now it is clear to me that this election sends a serious message to Washington....change is needed. But I want to make sure all you liberals and progressives out there (I put myself in that category) do not allow your recent good fortune to delude you in to thinking that the long american conservative nightmare is over. It is not. We are not going to wake up on January 3rd 2007 and suddenly have all the things we have been fighting for. This is only the beginning. The leaders in of the new congress should not repeat the mistakes of the leaders of the "Republican Revolution" who attempted in their first 6 months in power to undo and dismantle everything the Democrats had done in the previous 50 years. In other words...they went too far and in the next election, Americans let them know about it. The other thing that America rejected in the late 90s was the constant attacks on the President and calls for his impeachment and investigations. Now with congress in the hands of Democrats, many want the Democrats to use their power to encourage investigations and to move toward impeachment of the president. In other words...turn-about is fair play right? Uh....no. Wrong answer. Americans do not want more impeachment and investigations on top of investigations. They want progress. They want to clean-up government and they want a plan for Iraq. They also want a fix for social security, health care, and many other things. We should take the next few days to reflect on how we are going to use our power to make these things happen...not scheduling hearings and developing witness lists. Oversight is necessary...but we can't afford to overreach. Now is the time for reaching across the aisle and building support for our agenda. Let us stay focused...find our common ground...and work our plan. That is the change the people seek. Let's give them that.

Time for Change - November 7, 2006

Next week this time we will know how serious the "AMERICAN PEOPLE" are about making a change. Every election those out of power try to convince most of the electorate that what the people need is "change". The voters, we are told by all the talking heads on Fox, CNN, and MSNBC are angry. Angry about everything. Its the economy, political corruption, the war in Iraq, YADDA, YADDA, YADDA. The political writers all say that this election will turn on Iraq. I'm not sure about that. Political polls all show that the war in Iraq is very unpopular and they blame Bush and the Republicans. But I truly believe that most people in the United States are not that interested in the war itself...most of them are living their lives and rarely if ever give it a second thought. I know that's not true for the people in my life or for others that have love ones who are in Iraq...but for the most part....most of America is still disengaged with whats really going on here...too caught up with their financial troubles or their bad marriage or the job they hate or whatever. If Americans are angry its because they don't like to be inconvenienced or to make unnecessary sacrifices. This war thing...this war in Iraq....the "war on terror"...the war in Afghanistan...well shit....they are really, really inconvenient. I mean, look at what Americans are asking to give up. Reduce their use of gas? Nope...people love those 10 mile per gallon "hummers" dammit and they won't give them up for nothing. Higher taxes? Nope. We don't want to pay a dime more then we have to and thanks to the Bush tax cut we don't have too!! The really rich people in this country really don't like to pay taxes and Bush made sure of that too. What about conservation and recycling like they did during past conflicts. Remember that woman gave up silk nylons during WWII and there would be community scrap metal and rubber drives to help out with the war effort. None of that....we don't care about recycling and we don't want to give up anything that will affect our "quality of life." This war makes us angry? Naaa...we just don't like to here all the bad news. It depresses us. We want change because we don't know any other way. We got big change in 1994. 12 years later...we see what this change has wrought. Not a pretty picture. But can "Americans" step up to the plate? Can they pull that blue switch instead of the red? I am hopeful but not overly optimistic. Mainly because we have been down this road before. Last time...2004...the Republicans made sure that the campaign in the end would be a about gay marriage and abortion instead of the war and the economy. The Democrats...miserable failures at standing up to them....just laid down and let the Rove Machine work its magic. They need to clean their own house too, grow some spine and stuff John Kerry in a lock box for awhile. If they win on Tuesday...it will be because they managed to "not lose it" and the tired Republican ideals finally were rejected by most of the country. Get out there and vote my friends...or you might end up in Iraq. Haha.

Letters from Home

A few weeks back I went to a website called Any Soldier.com. It is a sight were average people who want to support soldiers who are overseas can do so by donating cash and gifts and other things that make our lives over here just a little more tolerable. Its a terrific service and it is very much appeciated by all of us. I went and signed up for my guys and gals (I have about 8 soldiers I am responsible for) so that I could make sure that they know how much their hard work and sacrifice is appreciated. I want them to know that even if most Americans no longer support this war....almost all Americans support us. Everyday I look forward to getting mail from strangers all across the country. These letters come from school children who address their letters to "Dear Solder" or some other miss-spelled word that represents what we are. Haha. The letters from the kids always ask us if we are scared and thank us for being brave and for fighting to keep them free. The other day I got a letter from a kid who asked me twice how many pets I had. He has two dogs and a cat, a bird, and soon will be getting a new puppy. Another letter was from a woman in Missouri who told me how much she appreciated what we were doing and that she prayed for us all to be safe and to come home soon. Near my desk, I have several construction paper cards written by kindergartners from Texas (some more elaborate then others - but all unique and beautiful in their own way) You know this war has divided us up politically --geographically---culturally.... but when we get these gifts from home and the cards and letters it reminds us how united we can be when we don't let politics get in the way of civility and decency. I don't doubt the sincerity of these kind gestures. Somehow I really do believe that the folks that support us do so for completely noble reasons. Many believe that what we are doing is fighting for something...maybe its our freedom...or maybe its someone elses. Whatever it is we are fighting for.....I hope they understand that we are trying hard to do something right. I am blessed with so many friends. I would like you all to help me make my soldiers everyday lives a little brighter. Put together a gift box - write a letter - make a contribution to Any soldier.com. Whatever you think you can do. Your gesture will be appreciated and I...as your friend...will be forever grateful. If you feel like sending something to my soldiers....you can send them care of me at:

SSG Glenn Read
HHC, 36th CAB
LSA Anaconda, Balad
APO AE 09391

We are not picky...if you have old cds, dvds (no porn...haha) candy, holiday decorations, toiletries, ect., or anything else you can think of that would be great. My friend Linda sent me a package with homemade brownies that were a hugh hit with my troops! Thanks Linda...you are the best. Cards and letters are always appreciated as well. I love you all my peeps. Show me and my army peeps some love back. Haha. Thank you in advance for your help.

Two Months Down

It has now been two months since I left the US to come to the "combat zone". Which means I have about 4 months to go before I come home on leave and about 10 months before I come home from the deployment. Time is going by pretty quickly but still it seems like such a long way to go. My days are incredibly long...and I am really busy. But this makes those days on the calendar dwindle away. I have been thinking a great deal about everyone at home. Wondering what they were up to. Wishing that I could talk to them all. Hoping that they have not forgotten about me. Then I think of the upcoming holidays and get sentimental. For the last few years I have hosted Thanksgiving dinner at my house. I cook the turkey and stuffing and everyone else would bring the side dishes. Then there was the wine...damn we drank alot of that last year. Haha. There was always some kind of drama going on to make the holiday special. Last year it was the "G" man who cut his finger cutting bread right before we cut the turkey. He was rushed to the emergency room and got some stitches and then we finally cut the turkey after he returned. But G always did something that made things interesting. Like the time he burned poor John with a hot cookie tray or broke Christa's glass cutting board when he chopped chicken like a cracked out sou chef. Then made the statement "I don't mind." Ha Ha. I can't tell you how much he has made me laugh over the years. He is funny as hell and I love him to death. He is also an amazing cook and should be doing that professionally. When I come back in February, I want to have a Thanksgiving at my house with me and my baby and all my buds. And I want the "G" man to do the cooking and make sure it doesnt take a week to "cook the balls". This year, I hope the gang spends thanksgiving together and they set a place at the table for me. I have a great deal to be thankful for. Mostly what I have is the love and support of my family and friends. Even if I had nothing else...I'd be a rich man. This knowledge is what is sustaining me through this deployment. It gives me hope and helps me bide my time here in Iraq. Thank you all.

Despair

It is has been a difficult month so far. Hundreds of Iraqi deaths and over 70 military deaths. This has not been a peaceful Ramadan. I don't expect Christmas to be very peaceful either. Anyone who says this is not a civil war is in serious denial. The ethnic fighting continues to increase. Back and forth Sunni kills Shia and Shia revenges that with killing Sunni. It does not end. The attempt to secure Baghdad is a complete and utter failure. Now we have Generals stating that. Today, the AP Reports:

"BAGHDAD, Iraq - The U.S. military acknowledged Thursday that its two-month drive to crush insurgent and militia violence in the Iraqi capital had fallen short, calling the raging bloodshed disheartening and saying it was rethinking its strategy to rein in gunmen, torturers and bombers."

"The admission by military spokesman Maj. Gen. William B. Caldwell came as car bombs, mortar fire and shootings around the country killed at least 66 people and wounded 175. The dead included the Anbar province police commander, slain by gunmen who burst into his home in Ramadi. The U.S. military also announced the deaths of three U.S. troops in fighting, raising the toll for American troops in October to 74. The month is on course to be the deadliest for U.S. forces in nearly two years."

Last Sunday, I had a chance to go back to Baghdad. It was an uneventful trip but I have become accustomed to the sounds of explosions and smoke everywhere. On the trip back, as our Black Hawk flew over the city I thought how incredible peaceful everything looked at that moment. Dots of lights (some looking like holiday lights) were visiable as far as the eye could see. Very deceptive though. Last weekend, the town where we are near (Balad) had dozens of brutal murders (mostly revenge killings). Then I saw fires burning and tracer rounds going off all around us. My thoughts of peace left me quickly. So we stay on alert all the time just in case. I don't know what else to say except...god help us all.

Chicken Hawks - The other "yellow" meat

Well the war is still going on. And there is a big mess over here and in North Korea. The GOP is dealing with an unpopular president and an unpopular war and a scandal with a congressman from Florida who has been getting a bit too friendly with the kiddies. Proof that it is not just the Democrats that can't keep their hands to themselves. The GOP is desperate you see to change the subject because the one group that seems to be hanging in there with them after all the bullshit they have put the country through may be getting a little discouraged with the direction the leadership is taking the party. I am of course talking about the REALLY HOLY HOLY PEOPLE WHO PRAY THAT WE ALL WILL BE LIKE THEM SOMEDAY AND NEVER HAVE SEX OR EVEN THINK ABOUT HAVING SEX EXCEPT ON VERY RARE OCCASIONS OR WHEN NOONE IS LOOKING. This guy Mark Foley is a scuz. No doubt about it. He was chairman of a committee on congress that dealt with abused and exploited children. Nice role model. And apparently, the Speaker of the House knew about his elicit emails to these youngsters. But because he was considered a "shoo-in" for reelection they tried to keep this on the down low. Now its blown up and all the Republicans are running for cover. Well the only comfort I think that the Republican can take is the fact they are running against a party that has no vision and no plan and no clue. This being my party....ummm...the Democrats. Well thats not completely true. There are some good plans out there being pushed by the Dems, but for the most part they are a party that has lost its way...and most of its spine. It bothers me that so many Democrats supported this war in 2003 and did nothing to challenge Bush on his decision to rush us into war. They quietly fell in lock step with him afraid that they would be percieved to be "weak" when it came to fighting terror. Now they want to be the "Anti-war" party. Courage is needed right now...on both sides of the aisle. I don't see much hope it will ever reveal itself. Which brings me to the title of this post. I am here today (in Iraq), for me by choice, many others had no choice, because a group of neo-conservatives attached at the hip to George the Stupid decided that their years of playing Chess and the game Risk prepared them to fight a real war embarked on a campaign to do just that. The fact is these guys were not prepared and ignored the advice of countless experienced military men and woman. These guys who fancied themselves as 21st century Alexanders or Napoleons, had little or no real military experience. Consider this article from the Nation by Eric Alterman:

"During the run-up to the Iraq war, it was impossible not to notice that those most gung-ho for the adventure were, by and large, virgins when it came to the actual battlefield. George W. ("I was not prepared to shoot my eardrum out with a shotgun in order to get a deferment. Nor was I willing to go to Canada. So I chose to better myself by learning how to fly airplanes") Bush; Dick ("I had other priorities") Cheney, Paul Wolfowitz, Douglas Feith, Richard Perle, Tom DeLay, Elliott Abrams--to a man, all found better things to do than join the armed forces during Vietnam, a war most of them supported." (December 1st, 2003)

That pretty much says it all about these clowns. They wanted a war...a war they knew they would not have to fight in themselves....when they got their chance to actually fight in one....Vietnam....they had other priorities. They are called chicken hawks. All gung-ho until the shooting begins and then its off to college or to work on a political campaign or some other activity short of combat. You will know them by their high pitch shrill and by their distinct "yellow" markings. But they are not to be feared. They only talked tough. I guess thats enough ranting for the night. Later dudes.

The Army 10 Miler

Yesterday was a big day for me. For the first time in my life, I ran 10 miles without stopping. My time was a scorching (I kid) 1 hour and 52 minutes. Needless to say...I am sore today. My legs feel really heavy. But I am proud that I got through this. Though I did manage to embarrasing myself by passing out 10 minutes after the race was over. The thing I remember is feeling really dizzy and then falling to the ground. "Medics!!" "Medics" is the next thing I heard. Very surreal. Next thing I remember is being taken over to the shade and laying down and someone placing an oxygen mask over my face. Then some guy looked at me and said..."What do you think caused this?"...Of which I replied....Duhhhh...maybe it was the 10 miles i just ran YOU STUPID ASSHOLE....haha...anyway it was a little drama for awhile, but eventually I was ok and was able to walk back to the bus. My Command Sergeant Major came by my office later that day and told me to go to the clinic to get checked out. So I went---and they asked me a bunch of questions...any history of heart disease...diabeties...high clolesterol..high blood press...cancer....yadda yadda yadda...and of course I said yes on all counts. Then they put me on the heart monitor thingie and it showed that I did have a heart after all and that it was beating....blood pressure and pulse were fine. So the doctor came in and asked me what the hell was I trying to do. "Normal people...(and I am normal) do not run 10 miles." Well not before properly training for it anyway. You see...I had never run more then 7 miles before. And recently I had only ran about 5...inside on the treadmill. But me being all gung ho I decided I was going to go for it. And I did. And I am glad I did...pain or no pain. And next time I will eat something before I go out and train better before the race. I want to beat my time next time. I have discovered that I can do alot more then I ever thought possible. I am glad that I have this chance to live out new experiences and challenges. New pictures soon. Love you alls.

Mortaritaville - The Sequel

Well folks...apparently this is a bad time to be in Camp Anaconda. The last few days have been attack after attack. Tonight I was running in the gym and we heard a loud boom and the building shook. After the explosion...we could see dust coming from the place where a mortar fell. Or where we thought it fell. If it had broke through the roof and landed in the middle of the gym....I would have been just a few feet away. Damn..the real scary part is that everyone in the gym...myself included kept working out....we shook it off because we are use to these attacks now. Last night my buddy told me he heard about 7 landing inside the wire. I can't confirm this. What is scary is not that they are accurate or good at what they do...they kinda suck...actually they usually don't even aim...but its that sometimes they get lucky. And like I always say about sports...I would rather be lucky then good. From the Army's standpoint...the force protection is working just fine. The design of the building we were in and the steps taken to protect us saved us tonight. I am grateful. Yesterday, I had the pleasure of participating in some actual force protection by filling and placing sand bags around the windows of buildings that are vulnerable to attack. Hard work, but I am it was a change of pace...so I enjoyed it. The next two sundays will be busy. This coming sunday I will be running in a 10 mile race. Next sunday I will be going to Baghdad for another conference/training/. Another chance to go outside the wire. The time is going fast right now...the days blend into each other and I never know what day it is most of the time. Before you know it my R and R leave will be hear (around February 14th) and I will be seeing everyone. I can't wait. Until then...keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

What I Miss About You

For the One:

I miss you very much my love. I miss everything about you. I miss your smile. I miss your laughter. I miss the way my skin feels when you touch me. I miss the way it feels when you put your arm across my waist when we are taking a rest in our bed. I miss the way you fold my clothes and organize my mess and do all the little things you do for me. I miss the way we talk baby talk to each other and laugh like little kids. I miss you so much. I miss your lips...those soft lips as they are pressed against mine. I miss the sounds you make when you sleep. I miss the way you make me feel when you get up in the morning and kiss me before you go to work. Oh how I miss you baby. Each day that goes by...I miss you more. Because since I met you, I knew we had something. Since that day in June when you said YES....I have felt more complete then ever. Thank you. I love you. And I can't stop missing you. Everything about you.

Guard Duty

Yesterday I pulled guard duty for 24 hours. Interesting experience really. Random thought and notes from this experience:

1000 hours: Reported to the Sergeant of the Guard. Recieved the briefing and was given the ROE (rules of engagement) and EOF (escalation of force). Also the passwork/countersign.

1130 hours: Was assigned to tower XXX (SECRET). Left a humvee and arrived at tower at about 1158 hours. I have with me my weapon, and a full combat load of ammunition. I am prepared to kill. Haha. Not really.

1200 hours: arrive at tower XXX...recieved briefing from the soldiers who we are replacing. I begin scanning my sector for all suspicious activity.

1205 hours: I see farmers in the field

1207 hours: I see a woman with a shovel.

1225 hours: A little boy is yelling from a truck. His father is in the field.

1227 hours: The woman with the shovel is digging in the field. She is making a ditch. PERHAPS TO HIDE A MORTAR TUBE OR AN IED???? I look carefully...naaaa...just digging an irrigation ditch.

1245 hours: I see children playing. A little girl and a little boy. Cute little buggers. HMMMM...perhaps human bombs?....play on our emotion and then when we reach down to say hi or give them candy...BLAMM...who knows....wish i could get a pic of them.

1247 hours: a man is bathing in the field...in the middle of the field. Proof that Iraqis do in fact bath. I knew that they did. But all my buddies dont think so.

1252 hours: I am watching two young girls working in the field. They are working on the irrigation ditch. Working hard....where the hell are the men? One girl...maybe she is 16 or 17...is playfully tossing leaves up in to the air.

1254 hours: The playful girl looks up at me in the tower. She yells to me something in the arabic. My friend says she is saying to not stand up in the tower or they will shoot me. Awww...she likes me. She struts away with a purpose. I wish I knew what she was really saying.

1300 hours...one hour down...confirmed kills to this point: 0

1305 hours: there is a beautiful field filled with sunflowers...I feel happy at that moment.

1307 hours: dark blue vehicle heading toward the fence...OMG...truck bomb????...naaaa...just more workers from the farm.

1310 hours: the Iraqi girl is back...I think she likes me. I think she is flirting with me. Or maybe she is just fucking with me.

1320 hours: she is digging again...damn hard worker. she is singing...nice voice...dont know what she is singing though...I wish I knew.

1340 hours: she speaks once more to me...takes her finger and point for me to come down and help her dig.. I wish I could...she looks at me and give me the "crazy gesture"...she thinks I am crazy. She is a fiesty one. I think I like her.

1400 hours: spotted in my sector so far: birds, in the distance sheep, 4 or 5 man...4 or 5 woman...2 or 3 kids. Confirmed kills: 0

1420 hours: the girls are back...working and digging away...I see a man in a red headdress...he approaches the girls...he sees me and waves...we wave back.

1500 hours....a purple truck is heading our way...WE GET READY...then it turns off the road and into the field to drop off more workers.

1530 hours...my Iraqi girl is back...now she is playing peek-a-boo with me. I pick up the binoclers and she mimics me looking at her...she smiles...i chuckle...

1540 hours...my Iraqi girl is playing hide and seek with her boss or brother...He walk down the field looking for her...she looks at me to help warn her when he approaches...its fun...she laughs and so do I....i am in on the joke...

1600 hours...my first shift ends. I have made contact with an Iraqis and I have not had to use deadly force. This is a small victory. I think I have won this battle...who knows what will happen next time...

This first shift was the busiest...the other two were not as exciting...I guess thats ok. So anyway...how did you all spend your last 24 hours??

Welcome to "Mortaritaville"

For those of you who have never been to war...or to a military base in a combat zone....there are little things that we get accustomed to after a few days. First thing you notice...the noise. It is always loud here. We are near the airfield, so all day long aircraft are taking off and landing. Sometimes you hear it at night and it sounds like its landing square on your roof. Now I know it loud near civilian airports, but rarely do F-16s (which break the sound barrier) land at Albany International. Around here.....all the time. The next thing you notice is the constant security to get in and out of everywhere you go. If you lose your ID...well that sucks. You can't go into the mess hall...in to the gym....to the PX...the movies....nothing. And we carry our weapons with live ammo with us everywhere we go...including the shower. We do this for a reason of course...because there are attacks on us almost everyday. The attacks come from outside the wire...and usually miss. Sometimes they don't. The favorite weapons of the insurgents around here is the mortar. In the early months of the war, so many mortars hit inside the wire that it was called "Mortaritaville". The name stuck. Since we have been here...we have been hit...many times. For reasons of OPSEC, I can't say how many. There are security procedures in place to keep us safe (which I will also not detail) and almost all the time, they work. But you never can be too sure. We have to fight everyday to make sure our soldiers do not get complacent. We have to remain vigilant. Its for this little bit of inconvenience that the Army feels a need to give us $225 dollars extra a month. That's what we call combat pay...Or in the Army's language...."Imminent Danger Pay." Whatever you call it....$225 per month is peanuts to put yourself on the line the way some of these guys do. But really...What is a life worth anyways? I don't think you could ever give enough to someone who was truly reluctant to go to Iraq. And most of the soldiers that come here, don't come here for the $225. I include myself in that. I didn't come here for the money. And if they took the $225 away...I would still have volunteered. The things I have learned and will learn are worth the risk. The experiences alone...worth the inconvenience. So even though they call it "Mortaritaville"...this place is still 1000 times better then what the average Iraqi is going through. Most of them live in fear every moment...every day. This holy season (Ramadan) will not be what most of them hope it will be...prayful, peaceful, joyful. It will be bloody, and violent and deadly for many. That makes me sad. I pray that they will experience the same joy I get when I spend the holidays with my friends and family. In the meantime, I will wear my kevlar and vest everywhere I go...just in case some insurgent wins the lottery and I am on the receiving end of it. Haha. Peace.

My Winter of Discontent - Life With Winslow

Or was that Winthrop? I can never remember that. This post is a tribute to my good friend and my oldest friend in Albany...Warren. Warren and I met in 1992. We met through a friend's sister who was dating Warren at the time. We hit it off right away because we both loved the Cowboys and loved baseball even more. He was a Mets fan and I loved the Yanks. Anyway, Warren and I even tried to start a band. He was a bass player and I was trying to put together an Elvis Tribute band. That never panned out but we did get together often to go to sunday brunches and parties at our mutual friends house. And also to watch the Cowboys win a few Superbowls. Those were fun times let me tell you. Around 1996, Warren decided that he needed a change and he packed up and went to San Francisco to live with his brother. That lasted a few weeks and then he headed back to Albany. His girlfriend suggested (strongly I suspect) that he needed a place other then hers to stay, so she called me and asked if I needed a roommate. At the time, I was unemployed so I said, what the hell...why not. So Warren moved in with me and we developed our a close relationship. At first things were great. I was collecting unemployment and we would stay up and watch sports and play board games and eat. But eventually the unemployment ran out and Warren was having a tough time finding a decent job. I ended up taking a shitty traveling salesman job and he started working at a deli at the mall. Well it was bad. The holidays sucked and in January our power was cut off and we were getting eviction notices from our crazy and I mean crazy Greek landlady who lived up stairs. The two of us even went down to Albany County Social Services to see if we could get the welfare...haha. But they said we made too much. Huh? I remember saying to Warren..."something is going to break for us" and he said..."its already broke." So we sold my PA and his bass amp and that gave us half the rent we needed. Well we had to move out of the apartment and find a new one, which we did and when we were moving our stuff, we dropped off one load and went inside to get our more stuff and came out to find that my car was gone...repossessed!. Shit. Well needless to say, I felt totally beaten at that point and didnt have any prospects. But I went to the lady who owned the car dealership and she gave me the car back and told me she had a job for me if I wanted it. I took it. It sucked. But it paid the bills. So Warren and I eventually moved to a better place and we both had jobs and things got alot better. In the meanwhile, we got the opportunity to work on new ventures. Warren was a writer and he wrote a short play. His play was selected to be a part of a new play festival at Albany Civic Theater. He asked me to audition for this and I reluctantly did. I won a part and the rest is theater history. More on that in other posts. I don't know why I wanted to write about him today, but I guess its because he and I went through alot and we have remained friends through tough times. I miss him. Favorite things I remember about our friendship: baseball, cowboys, sunday brunches, watching All in the Family, and performing a play he wrote. I loved performing his stuff. My greatest moments in theater have everything to do with the stuff he wrote. He brought the best out of me as an actor. Damn I miss that. When I get back, Warren, make sure you have a good part for me buddy. Anyway...GO YANKS. Ha ha. May the great Iraqi lizard bless your Mets! Full lizard power to them (unless they play the Yanks). Later dudes.

In case you forgot what I look like - some pics

Here are some pics for you all to enjoy or throw darts at...haha: Top one is me on my first ride on a Black Hawk. Next is me and my boss sitting on a throne in Al Faw palace in Baghdad. Proof that the "King" is alive and well. Next is me defending an old guard tower. No one dared mess with me. I am holding my best friend. I call it my Jeter. Its always there when I need a big "hit". Next is a pic of the court house where Saddam was arraigned after we caught him. Bottom one is a pic of my tent in Kuwait and all my tent-mates. More to come later.

Outside the Wire

I have been in country for exactly 6 days. And all ready I have ventured off post...or "outside the wire". The Wire refers to the borders of the base that is made of concrete and barbed wire. When we are inside the wire...it means we are nice and safe and we can walk around without much fear. The real danger is on the other side of the wire...where the natives live. That is filled with danger (or so we are told). Usually when soldiers go outside the wire, they go in convoys (usually up-armor humvees) but that is really dangerous because of all the risks we face with road side bombs and snipers. But I am with an aviation unit...and we dont use no stinking humvees. We use Black Hawks. (which do sometimes crash or get shot down but not that often.) Tuesday morning I got up very early and caught a flight to Baghdad to meet with important legal folks down in the "Green Zone". That was pretty cool I must say. Then we went to see some of the sites around town, including the court house where Saddam was arraigned and one of his many palaces (which is now the home of the Coalition Forces). I went on a little tour of the palace and then took some pics. I will be uploading them shortly. Later in the day, I got back on the helicopter and headed back. I was interesting seeing this big city. But I was surprized that there was no skycrapers. Its not what I expected. Almost all of the structures were one or two floors. It looked like one really big trailer park. Haha. With about 8 million people living down there. The highest structures in town are the Mosques and Saddam's palaces. Outside the city there were many small villages that looked very primitive. Some of the mud huts had satellite dishes on their roofs though. Go figure. Haha. Overall my trip was enjoyable. I still want to meet some real Iraqis...but that could be hard to do. The ones I really want to talk to are "outside the wire" and lots of people outside the wire want to kill us. So we will see. Oh yeah...I will tell you why they call the place I am stationed "Mortaritaville". But thats for another blog.

Iraq

I am here. In Iraq. In an air force base north of Baghdad. And officially, I am in a war zone. Since February I have wondered if this day would ever come. And yesterday (September 8) at about 5:00pm I landed in a C -130 that was crammed with equipment and soldiers. It was the Army/Air Force version of a "no frills flight." No pretty flight attendants, no in-flight movie, no peanuts, no beverage services...just me and fellow soldiers crammed into seats made out of cargo nets with leg room reserved for tiny midgets. But thankfully it was a short flight. We landed at about 5 pm and then went back to tents for one last night. Today I was up at about 4, had chow, then went to a briefing (where they showed us videos of how to react to mortar attacks) and then recieved the keys to our new digs. Our homes for the next 11 months or so. Smaller then at Hood, but private at least. Iraq is much better already then Kuwait. I saw camels yesterday on the way to our flight and then I saw trees and grass for the first time since I left the country. I am working on getting my room in shape and then its back to work. I have met the guy I am replacing and his staff. He has done a good job preparing for the transition. They are all excited about going home. I am sure I will feel the same way next year. At any rate my peeps...your soldier boy has made it and my spirits are high. Love ya all. Especially you my love. Holla at your boy. ( how ghetto is that?)

We are Safer...But Not Yet Safe.....Hmmmm

The President is saying to the American people that we are safer now then we were (I assume he means before 9-11) but not yet safe. But really, how can you really tell? From the first bombing in 1993 of the WTC until the attacks on 9-11, we did experience terrorist acts on this soil, but that was from a domestic terrorist (Timothy Mcveigh) in Oklahoma. Of course there were other attacks on Americans overseas (see USS Cole and the Foreign Embassy bombings) but most Americans did not fear a terrorist attack in this country until after 9-11. The prospects that a group of individuals would be able to use box cutters to hijack airliners was not even something most of us would have thought was possible. There had not been a domestic hijacking in the United States for decades. Yet that day.....9-11-2001...we had four. So it is true that we have not seen similar attacks since that fateful day, but does that mean it is because of our new "war on terror" or because we have just been damn lucky? The terrorist that attacked us on 9-11, prepared for years. They were creative thinkers. They learned from their past failures and they succeeded spectacularly on that day. Somewhere in this world...another group is planning the next big attack. They too are creative in their thinking and also patient. They are just lying in wait for the right time to execute. It might be under this administration or perhaps the next or the one after that. But they understand that this "war" is never going to end. They have set no timetable for its length nor set any specific guideline for how it defines victory. To them, victory is achieved by killing as many Americans as they can. Pretty simple really. So the President says we are safer...but not yet safe. But tomorrow, if another city is hit by something like what happened in NY, how could he ever claim we were safer? We eliminate one possibility and they come up with three more. Perhaps our new policies regarding air travel will lower the chances of hijackings, but what about our buses and trains? Who is to say that a person with a dirty bomb won't get on a bus in Albany and take it over and ram it into a public building? What about a bomb on Amtrak that goes off just as it approaches Penn Station at rush hour? What about the 90 percent of containers coming in from ships all across this world that go un-inspected? Tell me my peeps...do you feel safer? I don't. But that being said...I don't really fear a terrorist attack. I fear the highways. Unsafe drivers everywhere. I fear drunk red necks with guns. (especially those who become Vice President) I fear the stupid people who make stupid decisions that cost lives everyday. Now that is a war worth fighting for. Lets rally against stupid people. That...like the war on terror or the war on drugs....will be a neverending war. Most of all...I fear the lost of freedom and privacy and individual liberty that this administration says is the price we have to pay to "keep us safe." If it is the price we have to pay, they better be damn sure they do keep us safe. That's all I am saying. Because if we get hit again...maybe bigger then the last time...and we gave up most of what we were told we are fighting for...then its all very pointless. So Mr. President...keep making us safer. We are counting are you. Maybe you could start some more wars...take our minds off how unsafe we feel...oh and pick a easier target this time. (maybe Cuba....no not Cuba....ahhh...how about Haiti...oh yeah been there done that....what about......well we will let you and Dick decide)

Something New: 5 K Run in the Desert

The last few weeks has given me the opportunity to do a few new things. My first time "overseas", the first time I have walked in heat that exceeded 110 degrees, and yesterday, the first time I ever ran a 5 K run. And in the desert no less. Now I did not win the race, but I did complete it. In a less then "the speed of light" time of 28 minutes and 5 seconds. Thats a little over 9 minute miles, but like I said, I finished the race somewhere in the middle of the pack of about 800 soldiers, airman, and sailors who participated, so I am satisfied. I have decided that I want to continue improving on this and I understand that when we get to Iraq we will have these races every holiday. It was actually quite fun to do it and we got free t-shirts...yahoo! We started the race about 6 in the morning and it was a cool 95 degrees. In the mornings I actually get chilled. Can you imagine? When I get back to the states sometime in February, I am gonna be hurting I am sure. Because, no where, but no where is as hot as we have it here right now. New York will be...well forget New York. Florida will be chilly....I mean most of you will be wearing shorts and I will be wearing a parka. At least for the first few days anyway. I will just have to cuddle with my baby....maybe Elvis too. Haha. I have a few more days here in Kuwait and then its short flight up north. Its cold up north. (115 vs. 133) At anyrate I understand you folks back home have gotten rain and chilly weather. I miss the fall. It has always been my favorite time of year. Oh well, I plan on being home next fall. Until then, I will just have to keep dreaming of apple picking, walking in the woods on those crisp fall mornings, and planning for thanksgiving.

The Hard Life of an American Soldier - Kuwait Edition

It is hard to believe that I have been here since the 23rd of August. It seems much longer. It seems like I have been here a life time. But its been less then two weeks. Ten days of Heat, Sand, and Laying around. But its no vacation. My days right now consist of waking up at 5:00 to do PT, going to breakfast, showering and shaving, then back to the tent I share with 15 other guys. We sit around and bullshit and wonder when the hell we are leaving Kuwait. Around 12 we go to chow again and then I check my email. I then go back to the tent and lay around and talk with my tent mates and talk about woman, sports, and nothing in particular. Then we get tired and nap until our 5 oclock formation. After formation we go to chow. (eating is the only thing we really look forward to these days). After the hard day, we go back to our tents (also know as our "hooch". ) Half the time we cant tell you what time it is or what day it is. Holidays? This monday is a holiday? Why everyday is a holiday in sunny - hazy crazy - Kuwait. The sandstorm was a big disappointment. I mean I bought 5 gallons of goats milk and 3 dozen eggs just in case we got trapped in our tents. Just like in the winter at home...they promise us 16 inches and we get 2. Here they promise us a 5 day sandstorm and we get 4 hours. I feel really cheated. A soldier (regardless of which war) is faced with two major things he must learn to deal with. The "war" action. Things blowing up, people shooting at you, ect., (which rarely happens) or the boredom. Long hours of sitting or laying around waiting for something to happen. (this happens most of the time) These days we get many more choices as to how to deal with this tedium. But after so many videos, music, and video games -- the tedium continues. We can't work because most of our equipment is in Iraq already. So its just waking up and doing the same old thing everyday. I would guess that the guys in past wars had to deal with the same thing we have to. But I am sure that those who rushed the beaches on D-Day and saw the carnage they saw....would never again complain about be bored. I just have to keep that in mind. I know my family and friends all want me to have a very boring time for the next year. Ha ha.

This is for my Baby

I think of you and I smile....and my heart skips a beat...and I close my eyes and thank God for giving you to me. This poem is for you:

At Last

by

Elizabeth Akers Allen

At last, when all the summer shine

That warmed life's early hours is past,

Your loving fingers seek for mine And hold them close—at last—at last! Not oft the robin comes to build

Its nest upon the leafless bough

By autumn robbed, by winter chilled,—But you, dear heart, you love me now.

Though there are shadows on my brow

And furrows on my cheek, in truth,

The marks where Time's remorseless plough

Broke up the blooming sward of Youth,—

Though fled is every girlish grace

Might win or hold a lover's vow, Despite my sad and faded face,

And darkened heart, you love me now!

I count no more my wasted tears;

They left no echo of their fall;

I mourn no more my lonesome years;

This blessed hour atones for all.

I fear not all that Time or Fate

May bring to burden heart or brow,—Strong in the love that came so late,

Our souls shall keep it always now!

I love you so.

The New Enemy?....Fascists?

In a clear act of desperation, President Bush, Republicans, and Conservatives have found a new Boogy man. Fascists. Hmmm...not communist, not liberals...but fascists. Apparently they feel that by using this term they can once again scare Americans in to voting for their party and their agenda. Wow. Big surprize there. Now America is in a stuggle against radical "Islamic Fascists." Consider the following article from the Associated press:

WASHINGTON (Aug. 30) - President Bush in recent days has recast the global war on terror into a "war against Islamic fascism." Fascism, in fact, seems to be the new buzz word for Republicans in an election season dominated by an unpopular war in Iraq. Bush used the term earlier this month in talking about the arrest of suspected terrorists in Britain, and spoke of "Islamic fascists" in a later speech in Green Bay, Wis. Spokesman Tony Snow has used variations on the phrase at White House press briefings. Sen. Rick Santorum, R-Pa., in a tough re-election fight, drew parallels on Monday between World War II and the current war against "Islamic fascism," saying they both require fighting a common foe in multiple countries. It's a phrase Santorum has been using for months. And Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld on Tuesday took it a step further in a speech to an American Legion convention in Salt Lake City, accusing critics of the administration's Iraq and anti-terrorism policies of trying to appease "a new type of fascism."

Boy these guys never give up. Hey Democrats...we need to address this concern of fascism head on:

1) Point out that this administration continues to support Kuwait and Saudi Arabian...both controlled by dictators who continue to violate basic human rights of their own people, including conducting public beheadings and execution of woman who are charged with adultery.

2) Point out that under the Bush administration we have continued to strip away basic civil rights in the name of national security including allowing un-warrented wire tappings, detaining individuals without charging them with crimes, ect..

Dont let these clowns get away with this again. The enemy are not fascists. They are religious zealots. And we have our own problem with religious zealots in this country.

Anyway...thats my take. Hope you all have a nice day.

One week down - 51 to Go

It has been a week since I left the comforts of my single room, air-conditioned room at Fort Hood Texas. Hard to believe. But my life right now is all about sleeping with 15 other guys in a tent that has air-conditioning that works about half the time. My sleep pattern is a little messed up right now. Still feeling energetic at the wrong times and tired most of the time. In two days we will be getting a sandstorm that last for about 5 days. I am not looking forward to this new experience. The food is plentiful but my appetite is off as well. Today I participated in 5 briefings with my LTC and the soldiers who work under me. That went pretty well. I just found out that I will be the Sergeant of the Guard for 24 hours later this week. I can't tell you what we are guarding. I here things are going well in Albany. I am glad of that. I miss everyone more and more everyday. Getting emails from you all makes my day. Its what I find myself looking forward to most of all glennzing@aol.com if you are interested. Take care for now, I got to try to sleep.

133 Degrees

You know why there will never be peace in the middle east?...cause its too @@@@ing Hot! Thats right its was 133 degrees some time today. At night I use a blanket because it gets down to 100. Ha Ha. Its like in February and March in NY when we wake up to that first 50 degree weather and people want to start wearing shorts after a long winter. Crazy. Yep. I have never seen heat like this before. Oh its a dry heat too. The wind blows the heat and sand around and it get everywhere. Mostly in your mouth and nose. Next time you go out for a slice of pizza after drinking ask the guy if you can put your own slice in the oven. When he gives you the slice, stick it in along with your head. Keep it there for about 5 minutes. THATS HOW @@@@ING HOT IT IS!!!..Sorry Sherry. The heat is getting to me. We are not doing much except laying around and some classes now and then. There is a couple of big tents that have lots of movies, internet, books, and other stuff to do. There is a theater where they show lots of good movies. Mostly we go there to cool off. Happy Birthday to Christa! I hope her surprize party was wild and crazy. I know she and my peeps drank a little bit of wine. The only thing we have here is "Near Beer". Thats the non-alchohol stuff. I was hoping they would come up with the NA version of Grey Goose. But I doubt it. Well this week should be exciting. I understand that there is a big ass sandstorm heading our way! Yep. Sand and 80 miles an hour winds. These things are nasty and can last up to 5 days. We have to get plastic bags and seal up all our shit. Oh and we have to go out to the px and get our goat milk and eggs in case we get stranded. There will most likely be a mad rush for those things once the weather channel issues the storm warning....lol. Woo Hoo...maybe we will get a sand day...no school! At any rate, I guess things are going ok. Everyday I spend here is one more day I can cross off the calendar.

Climatizing and Aclamation

Well this has been an interesting week. I think its Saturday, but I dont know for sure. The last few days we have just been trying to adapt the time difference from home and the intense heat. I am making progress on both fronts. Although my sleep pattern is still a little messed up, overall I am adjusting well. The heat on the other hand...well lets just say I would take a nice cold January morning over this in a heart beat. Its hard to decribe what this place looks like, but think the surface of the moon with tents on them. Or maybe Hiroshimo after the blast. Its pretty desolate. I have seen no trees and the only shade we have is man-made. No animal either, other then an ant or two. My buddy claims to have seen a desert rat, but I can't confirm that. We think that we will be here for a couple more weeks and then on to Iraq. Exact dates and places are classified. Sorry guys. But if you want, tune into Fox News. They might no more then we do. Yesterday we got up at 3:00am to go fire our weapons. We did it that early because it was too hot to do it at other times. Besides the range and some mandatory classes and briefings, its been pretty relaxed. We have been able to watch movies and play video games when we were not training. Over-all, its been an interesting few days here. I will keep you posted if we have any excitement while we are here. Peace my peeps!

Day Two: Hot and Sandy

My impression of this country so far: Its hot. Oh...and there is lots and lots of sand. When I was back in Texas, one of the things we were required to do when we were driving tactical vehicles was to put a drip pan under the hummers to keep oil off the ground. The "green" in army stands for many things including enviroment-friendly! Haha...well one of my buddies made the point that there was little concern that oil got on the ground over here because it was all sand. Then I thought...yeah. I mean...its sand...and deep under this sand...there is oil anyway...so screw it! I don't know why I find this funny, perhaps I am just delirous from the heat and lack of sleep. So this place is not so bad I guess. We are staying in big tents (with about 16 guys) that have air. Of course its still hot but its better then nothing. We are taking it easy this first 48 hours to allow our bodies to adjust to the jet lag. I am almost there, although right now i feel like I should be having lunch. Local time here is actually 1909 (7:09pm). Tommorow bright and early, we go to the range. Early meaning 0330 or something. We have to do our training at night because its too hot in the day time. The food is plentiful and taste ok. The coke cans have arabic on them. Well tommorow will be my 42nd birthday and usually I am home in Albany getting ready to celebrate with my girl Christa. My twin Jeanne is celebrating as well although she insists I have miscounted our ages. She hasnt hit 40 yet. Happy birthday sis! Maybe next year we will celebrate together! Happy birthday to you too Christa! My baby misses me. I miss my baby too. Hold on there honey...363 days to go!

Long Day and Damn this Heat

The last 24 hours have been the longest I can remember since basic training. It began late Monday night when we were rounded up and bussed to a gym on Fort Hood and went through the final stages of paper work and inprocessing before we got on the plane. This was also the last chance that family members and friends had to see their soldiers off. It was pretty emotional and I was feeling for them and for myself as well. Just before midnight we got back on the bus and headed to the airfield where the huge plane was waiting. There the USO was there and gave us nice care packages and we hung out until it was time to load. A short time later we got on the plane and took off. We stopped off in Maine first, where we were greeted by USO volunteers and veterans from WWII, Korea, and Vietnam. It was nice to know that they supported us...if not the war. Back on the plane and off to Germany, we we changed planes and headed to our current location somewhere in the middle east. (can you guess where?...) I will be here for a for a week or more and then head to Iraq. Damn it is hot. I dont think anyone can fully appreciate how hot....and its not humid but it doesnt matter. Haha. Sand is everywhere. I am tired and worn out but my spirits are high. Its weird to think that 24 hours ago I was in Texas...and now....not. Haha. I will keep you all posted.

Leaving on a Jet Plane - Elvis has left the Country

By the time most of you will read this, I will no longer be in the United States. Sometime in the next few hours I will be on a plane heading overseas. It will be the first time in my life that I have left this country except for trips to Canada and Mexico. I am both excited about this and a little nervous. I can't tell you when I will be back...or even if...I ever will come back. But its my goal. I really know how much I will be missed and I have promised everyone of you I would come back safe. But...just to cover my bases....I want to tell you how I feel at this moment. I have had so much to thankful for. I am healthy, I have a great family, and so many friends. Now I have my T...the love who waits for me. I just want you all to know how much I love you all. A man who has friends and a loving family...well he's got everything. I feel happier and more content then I have ever felt in my life. Its because of you. Each of you. Now I know you all think I am a little messed up in the head for doing this...and somedays even I think thats so...I have no regrets. However this ends...I know that I have made the right decision. When I was growing up, I got use to taking the easy road. All through my first tour in the army and through college, I never applied myself the way I should have. I was selfish and inconsiderate. But somewhere along the way, I started to change. Pehaps that was when I began working with people with HIV/AIDS. There I was taught and shown compassion. I started to realize that each person on this planet has purpose and meaning. Each life is precious...each person a gift from god. What I am doing is trying to use my gifts to bring a little ray of light to an area of the world that needs it right now. I want to do two main things:

Support my fellow soldiers.

Learn about and appreciate the Iraqi people.

Some people do not think its possible to do both...but I know I can do it. Not sure how I will go about doing this, but hell...I got to try. I hope I can show both groups my sense of humor...my appreciation for diversity...and my compassion. I hope that I can make friends...as dear to me as all of you have been. I know if I get the chance...I will succeed. Or die trying.

Good bye all. I love you all.

Calm before the Storm

Well I started this blog way back in February and I have been through alot since then. There was all that stuff I had to do (the diet, the exercise, my physical,) and then I had to make it through waiting for my orders to be processed, the numerous parties and dinners to say goodbye, and then my arrival at Fort Hood. Then my training began and there was the countless classes, the trip to the field, the daily PT, the walking around in 100 degree heat with my full battle gear on. Going to the range and learning about how to avoid IED's. Then there was the close quarter combat with live ammo. I came to Fort Hood to train to go to war and to learn how to run the brigade legal office. I think I am ready. But like I said many months ago, the Army wants us to Hurry up....and wait. Now we can see the end of this phase and the beginning of the next...our mission will begin very soon. That mission will last at least one year. Thats 365 days from the day we hit the country. I will be counting the days until I see all my family and friends and for the love who has promised to be there when I return. I am very excited about this adventure and I have never been happier. I am right where I want to be and right where I know I should be. Perhaps it is the calm before the storm or maybe I am just crazy. Ha ha...either way I am ok with it.

Kentucky and Tennessee - One Last Goodbye

Last night I returned from visiting family in Kentucky and Tennessee and seeing some of my buds at a wedding for my friends Erchan and Katie. This time when I said goodbye, I really meant it. Haha. I say that because since March, I have said goodbye to the "albany" family on numerous occasions. At this point, they are just saying "go already" and I have to agree. I want to get there bad and start this next year off. Then I can start counting down the days before I come back. I am ready and tommorow I will be going through my final processing in preparation for Iraq. All my training is over and now its just a bit of a waiting game. The last few days with my family were very important to me. We got a chance to talk about important stuff and now I feel that they understand me completely. I won't soon forget my last night with them, when Ron and Bill and Sherry shared some laughs with me and told me they loved me ---no matter what. I have never felt closer to them. I am a happy man . They promise to spend my life insurance wisely if something happens to me. Haha. Thank you Sherry for being so supportive of me. Thanks Bill and Ron for being great brothers. I wish John and Jeanne would have been there with me that night, but when I get leave in February we will have a reunion. I am very proud of my sister by the way. She is really something. I got a chance to see her on Sunday and she told me about all the training she has been doing. She is now an EMT and is working with search and rescue teams. She has been repelling off rocks and everything. She is fearless. Always has been. She would be a much better soldier then me. Ah well, I miss everyone already. Especially my love. Heavy sigh....love you babe!

Back in Texas

The past week has been a tremendous week for me. I had a really good time and it was nice to see all the things I love. My friends, my house, my dog. And most of all my "baby". That is someone who made my week so enjoyable and who I will hold close to my heart the next year. I am really lucky. Love you Babe! This weekend I will be going back on leave for 5 days to go to my friends wedding in Louisville and to visit with my family in Tennessee and Kentucky. Its one more chance to say goodbye before I head out. Things are busy here and there is still alot to do this week before everyone goes on leave. This last weekend I was the Master of Ceremonies for our Brigade Deployment ceremony. Lots of important people there (lots of "stars" around...meaning generals)..I got lots of compliments on the performance...they said I brought a professional touch to the event. The next few days I will be doing our final preparation for deployment. I can't believe that in a two weeks I will be in Iraq! Well anyway, I guess I better get ready for bed. Another long week. See ya my peeps!

Home

Well this is the longest I have gone between posts, but I have been real busy with everything. I am writing this post from my bed in Albany. It has been a wonderful few days here. I am reconnecting with most of my friends and with my best friend (Elvis). He is laying beside me right now just like we always did before I left for Texas. It didnt take long for him and I to bond again and I am grateful he is with me for this week. Well I found out late last week that I am not going advance party but with the main body, which means I will be leaving later then I thought. At any rate, in a month I should be in country. The time here has been great. I flew in on Thursday night and landed at Newark airport about two in the morning. Todd was there to pick me up and we stayed at a hotel next to the Airport. The next morning we got up and met Eric in the city for lunch. Lots of heavy rain on Friday and we left the city to head up state. There we hooked up with the old gang for dinner and drinks. It was good to see Goutham, Christa, Warren and Jason. Eric and Wanda were also there. The next day we just hung out and then we went to a party they planned for me. We drank alot. Ha ha. Saturday I also picked up Elvis and he went nuts when he saw me. He missed me alot and I was so glad to see him. Sunday we all woke up late and went to the park and played a marathon game of football, whiffle ball, and then soccer. Poor Todd is still feeling it. He tells me he needs to quit smoking. I have encouraged this notion. Yesterday was a little more chill. Lunch with Todd and Justin and then I saw Cindy from Zing-A-Gram. Ahhhh...what a life. Food and friends and Elvis. What more could a man need. I am almost ready for the "sand box". Here's a shout out to my brother John, who is down in Florida and a little less liberal then me. He looks forward to reading my posts and was wondering why I hadnt posted in awhile. Well here you go John. Thanks for your support of me for what I am doing. (even though I dont want to kill as many Iraqis as you me want to....haha). Actually I am real proud of all my friends and family for their support. I need that believe me. As do all the gals and guys going there with me. Its a comfort to know we have peeps in our corner. Love you all.

Getting Closer to War

When I first got here in April I looked at the list of the training that I needed to take in order to be certified to go overseas and thought that I would never be able do it all. Besides our "green training" (the army related training) I also had to set up our office, supervise my section and do additional duties when called upon by the company commander or 1st Sergeant. I can't believe it, but I am almost there. This last weekend we did a training called "close quarters" combat training. This was a two day training in the hot Texas sun. We got to shoot off 140 rounds of ammo in different fighting positions and then the 2nd day got to experience a little of what the 11 Bravos do...(this is the guys in the Infantry). We were put in four man teams and sent in to a building where "insurgents" were hiding. We used live ammo, so it was a little scary. Haha. But I learned alot and I am gonna get Eric and Warren and Jason to practice with me on this. We will use paint balls instead of live m16 rounds of course. The training is risky, and apparently there have been some deaths as a result of this training. But I made it out alive and managed not to kill any of my team members. In other news, they found out I was an actor and tapped me to be the MC for the deployment ceremonies that will be held when we leave. I am glad to do it. I want to give a big shout out to my signficant other. I am glad you are in my life and don't worry I am coming home soon. Actually I am due to go on leave on the 21st of July and I want to party a bit with my buds on that next Saturday. So ya'all get ready...Haha. At any rate, as unbelievable as it may seem, In about a month, I will be heading off to the big sand box. I think if you took a poll of my friends a year ago and you asked them if they thought this was possible they would have thought you were crazy. Hell, I would have thought you were crazy. But here I am. I can't even tell you how great it makes me feel.

Tribute to a Fallen Soldier - 2LT Mark J. Procopio

Sometimes I try to bring a level of brevity to these posts. I dont take myself seriously and I like to make people laugh and think with what I write. Today, something happened to me that I will never forgot. I dont feel much like laughing tonight, so bear with me. Yesterday I had an opportunity to go to Houston for a couple of days to participate in a Independance Day parade. It was a chance to get out of FT Hood and to see another city in Texas I have not seen yet. We were escorted by a lady by the name of Ms. Julie (don't know her last name) who heads up a group on post that works with deployed soldiers, injured soldiers and their families. The do alot of neat stuff and show support for all those who need it. Ms. Julie has lots of friends all over Texas, and two of her friends joined us in Houston for dinner last night. They actually paid! We had about 24 in our group. Today we were in a parade held in a nice part of town called the Woodlands. As we rode down the parade route, people of all ages stood and cheered as we went by. It was very moving to see young kids and older folks (especially the veterans) enthusiastically cheer as we went by. "We love you" or "Thank you" was what they yelled at us as we went by. I was embarrassed a little I guess and just said thanks back to them. After awhile, I saw a young woman being held by two other woman. She was crying and was having a very bad time of it. I felt really bad because I knew that this meant that she had experienced some kind of awful loss. A few blocks down the road, Julie stopped our truck and brought the young woman to us and told us to help her into the truck. Julie says she needed to be close to us because she lost her brother to a road side bomb in Iraq last November. We all gladly helped her into the truck and told her that we would protect her. I then began talking to her and found out her name was Amy she was from Vermont and that her brother had been one of the "Green Mountain Boys", the Mountain Infantry unit out of Vermont. His name was 2LT Mark Procopio and he was killed in action on November 2nd, 2005 near Ramadi. Amy rode with us the rest of the parade route and got hugs from all the guys at the end. I told her that her brother will never be forgotten and that we wanted to come back to Houston next year so that she could see that we all made it back. I never had the honor of knowing Mark but I know that he was loved by his family and that he was killed doing something he felt was important. I pray that I will get the chance to do the same. Until that day, I salute Mark and the others who have lost their lives in this conflict. They will not be forgotten! Amy, it gonna be alright. I promise.